Day 1

I am at the Subang Jaya Medical Centre, the dad fell down the stairs early this evening about the time I was on my home from work (yes I am a career person now!). Haven’t heard any news about his condition yet, just went into the radiology department, hopefully nothing broke
Today was a busy day, went to Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri which is in KL! After that, went to HPJ to get everything done. There we were brief by the penolong pengarah and was told of our first posting which is…jeng jeng..obstetric and gynaecology!! aaaaa. Anyways we had to go the KWSP to get ourselves registered, and the nearest office is in Kajang So basically hari ni dok bergerak everywhere and fill endless formsss!!
Tomorrow is when the day starts! Takut!!

 

Counting Hours!

First of all, I am sooo sorry I have been away for more than a week without blogging, been away for the induction course in Pasir Mas and touched down in KLIA last Friday. There are sooo many things happened in the past week, some nice some not so much.

To make the long story short, I like meeting all the new faces of house-officers but I was not so keen on the place where the induction was held. The accomodation, was bad. I was among the lucky ones who came early and got a 2 bed room, some had to share with 3 other people and their rooms are not that big, and to make matter worse, there were not enough rooms so few unlucky ones had to sleep without beds. And of course there were no bathroom ensuite so we had to share bathrooms and the bathrooms are kind of like asrama sekolah menengah punye standard. I won’t be complaining much if I didn’t have to travel so far (KL-KB-Pasir Mas)  and knowing the fact that this is the first time an induction course that was held in ‘government premises’ in conjunction with ‘perbelanjaan berhemah’ kononnye. All my other friends who went for induction got much better venue for their induction ok (2 weeks in hotels located in KL!) but enough with the complaint, I’ve moved on.

Well as the induction was short (suppose to be a 2-week course but was shorten to merely 4 days),  so the schedule memang pack la. Start from early morning and habis nearly midnite. Mostly consisted of endless ceramah, of which only few je relevant to us house-officers. Tak habis-habis ‘this is important when you are the ketua jabatan’ mentioned by most speakers, I mean, come on, we only recently graduated from med school and already with that?

So the day before the induction course ended, we were instructed to give a performance by groups. There were 10 groups so in average about 10 people in each. And I was in Group 5 and we came up with the idea of converting the 1Malaysia song into a dikir barat, and we did okay I guess.. It was all in all a fun thing because I got to know new faces, some of which I might see again in the future, who knows..

Oh placement, well I got Hospital Putrajaya(HPJ) I know, I should be thankful, which I am but I am more worried about starting work! Sigh.. Anyway there are 3 others who got HPJ and we got to know each other at the induction course, and decided to go report to the hospital together, which is better that way than having everyone arriving at different times of the day kan..

So yesterday (Saturday) I had medical check up done at a nearby clinic, which was annoying because the doctor who attended me was a very skema doctor (probably started being skema only after I told her I’m going to work as a house-officer kan). She was particular about EVERYTHING. So I had an X-ray and urine test done which were all normal EXCEPT that I have an ear infection on right ear! I knew this beforehand because there was little pain in that ear for 2 days now, I had hoped that the doctor would just ignore it but of course she had to write it down on my medical form! urgh I mean, it was just an ear infection which would probably go away after a week of treatment, so why bother tulis karangan in my medical form! I know it’s unethical to do ignore the ear infection but still I am furious, maybe due to the fact that she ordered antibiotics, pain killers (hello I could just take panadol for that!) and ear drop med, and cost me RM170 okay! (the medical check up alone would only cost around RM90!!) Women…

Then I had one last thing to do which was to open a bank account! Sedih kan warganegara Malaysia tapi takde bank account kat Malaysia.. I needed one because bile report nanti sure need bank details for gaji kan, and I no longer have any weekdays left for me to do that, so I went to Sunway Pyramid’s Maybank branch and thankfully they allow opening of new accounts on a SATURDAY Now all is left is to report to Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Wilayah Persekutuan in KL on monday then off to HPJ after that.. Buzzy was with me at Sunway Pyramid and there we meet up with Jaeger and Sitsuda, had lunch then a 4 hour karaoke session :O Then we went for dinner at Papa Rich in SS15..

Sooo tired at the moment, gonna go have some sleep

p/s: from now on my blog entry will be short k, and probably less in words than previous entries work has officially commenced!

Arrival at the airport

The Horror 1

The bed!

Nasib baik ada sink!

Nasib baik ada kipas!

I have to enact this without verbally saying it

 

You See Me Care?

Of course, to those who knows me well, I do care.. Right now I’m pretending not to care because I’m exhausted trying to prove that you matter..That’s where I draw the line, my priority has ALWAYS been ME, not you and certainly not anyone else..Please have that in your mind, imprint it, memorize it and never ever forget it, because once you do, you’ll hate me, and I’ve warned you, I may not live alone in this world, and certainly the world doesn’t revolves around me, but I come first..So in the battle of ME VS YOU, I will always win..

p/s: drama away la pls..i told u i hate it..so pls don’t shove it down my throat..

 

Terrified..

As recalled, my induction course will soon commenced and I am not really ready, mentally as well as necessities. I just got back give or take a month and my shipping boxes are not suppose to arrive until the end of next month. Almost all of my books including shirts and ties are all in those boxes and I would be needing them soon. The books especially, I am thinking of doing a lot of studying by the end of this week, you know, come to think of it, there are loads of things that I have forgotten and should have known before starting work! Takut gila seh..

And to make things worse, I have been reading a lot of friends’ blogs, and they terrify me to bits! I know getting shout at would be something I need to be ready for, so I’ve constantly tried to convince myself that those are part of the house-officer’s jobs, after all in Malaysia, we are treated as ‘the worst human being’ kononnye so that ‘we can learn’ (words of the Director General himself, once upon a time). It seems that every waking moments of my life at the moment, consist of all the worst scenarios that can happen when I start working, and it’s draining my energy. Belum start keje dah fikir bukan-bukan, bukan ape, nak prepare myself mentally so that I won’t be too shocked later..

I am praying for the day, where the system change, no more stupid seniority-complex. The news mentioned alot about house-officers’ mental disorders, kononnye they are not properly assessed prior to admission into med school la dan sebagainye tomahan tau, to me it’s the higher up that are mentally cuckooo, if you get my drift..

So as of now, I am trying to convince myself that I can do this. I can survive not sleeping 36 hours straight and still take in shouting from MOs and specialists. I can be at the hospital 24/7 and not have a life till housemanship period ends (2 years if no extensions). I can starve myself just to get all the work done. I can work efficiently eventho I’m sick, semoga dijauhkan. I can survive without catching up to all my hobbies, ie tv series, hanging out with friends and sleep! I can help save lives without making any mistakes..

InsyaAllah..

 

Time Is Running Out

Today I’ve received the induction letter from Kementerian Kesihatan and guess what? It’s in Pasir Mas, Kelantan! Takleh jauh lagi ke, nak gi camne ni pun tengah pening So I have to attend the induction on the 2nd February 2010, that is like a week from now! Cepatnye, I just sent the last form to Malaysian Medical Council last Monday! Tup tap tup tap Friday dah dapat induction letter.. Guess it’s time..

So sorry that I haven’t been too active updating the blog everyday, since I doubt anyone wants to hear about my boring daily activities right? But thank you for visiting the blog every so often, 300 visitors already, not bad eh..

Sigh, no more tido siang berjaga malam for me starting next week! Have to betulkan the biological clock dah nak start keje soon. Haven’t receieved any news about my posting yet, probably I’ll get to know during the induction. I’m so hoping I get my first choice which is Hospital Putrajaya, because I’ve been to the hospital, visiting of course, and I love that it is not busy as compared to other hospitals, particularly Hospital Kuala Lumpur (HKL), which to me kind of bersepah, haha no offense. Heard loads of people saying I’ll learn more at a bigger and much busier hospitals but hey, I am going to be a doctor for the rest of my life (insyaALLAH) so I have the rest of my life to learn ok, kejar ape kan. Medicine is not definite, it’s expanding, so if you learn alot now, in time you still have to learn more kan. Kalut tol. I also chose Hospital Putrajaya because it’s easier to get to from Subang, and by easier I mean far less traffic, so less stress added to already stressful job kan. The other two choices of hospitals would be Hospital Serdang and Hospital Sungai Buloh.

Heard a lot of scary stories from friends who are house-officers in different hospitals, and now I’ve learned that, in every hospital, I am bound to experience at least one difficult posting so why bother fikir over and over kan. Oh one big thing that made me chose those hospitals is also because those hospitals are air-conditioned, going to be at the hospital most of the time anyway so better make myself comfortable kan, as long as I don’t sweat myself too much running tasks then I’m ok if they keep me there long hours sekalipun.

But of course I need to be mentally ready just in case I get some random hospitals outside my preference, because I might have to write an appeal letter and aaa malasnye to write one. So KKM (short for Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia) please play nice k, I’ve been away most of my life tau, for once I’d like to be close to home. This is my life we are talking about tau.

So today (considering I’m typing this at 4.30 am, yes I know, my sleep clock is effed up!) is Azwa’s wedding at Perdana Heights, can’t wait to meet her and Azween. Lama dah tak jumpe. Hopefully ada old Subang friends there to catch up on lost time kan. So till next time, daaa..

 

Safe Sex

Hey peeps, Derdz is back! Haha. Anyways, the topic today is “Safe Sex”, yes you heard me right, I am pro safe sexual intercourse particularly between married man and woman. Okay I know there must loads of perverted things in your mind at the moment but this is no laughing matter, dear sir. As most of you know, lately the television exposed lives of the unfortunate, you know, the kind that involves families whose income barely comes around the amount a person’s monthly Honda City car payment (with say 10% downpayment) and have zillions of children whom, I might add, could be  suffering from a dibilitating diseases. Example lah, a friend of mine encountered a mother who brought her son in to the hospital due to fracture of the wrist sebab accident and the doctor told her that it would cost around RM600-RM700 to treat. The problem is, the mother’s income is around RM300-RM400 monthly! To make matters worse, she has 5 children still in school. Regardless, the boy must be treated so my friend refer her to a department that can probably help with her financial problem, and they in turn said she only needed to pay half the cost of treatment, and of  course, she couldn’t pay that amount either. So the mother brought her son home, untreated, and 2 weeks later came in again and this time around the son’s wrist is numb and the cost to repair the damage now would be higher as it involves more difficult procedure. This of course has dire consequences, particularly to the boy because his wrist will no longer be the same, and it will affect him in the long run. This is only one example, there are loads out there.

So of course when we heard these kind of stories, we are bound to have our own judgement. Most would blame the government and it’s flawed system, because it failed to bring equality of wealth among the people which is true nontheless. I would go there, you know, bad-mouthing the government all day long but today I would want to blame the people instead.

These people know very well that they don’t have the materials needed to raise a child, I mean, it’s a noble thing to have children of our own, so we can pass our legacy (whatever that is), but whoever invent the idea that love alone is enough to raise kids to become responsible and respected adults are either nuts or incredibly wealthy themselves. People, wake up! We need MONEY to raise children. They have needs that more often than not must be attend to ie foods, medications and a suitable environment to grow up. So if you can’t afford providing for your family then what makes you think you can raise a kid? It’s one thing if you have a healthy child but a whole different thing if you have a sick one, the one that requires constant attention and this should already be considered before even thinking of having a child of your own.

Don’t be so quick to judge the system if the people themselves are not willing to make things better. Of course it is basic human rights to have children, but to what end? If it is only one child, then it’s acceptable but we are talking about more than 4 children living in unsuitable environment, rumah usang dan kecik pulak tu. These people don’t have the means to raise children with their limited resources and yet they give birth like cats! Anak tu harta? What does that mean? Kalau SEMUA anak-anak tu membesar dengan elok, berguna kepada masyarakat takpe, but how can we know that for sure? Kalau anak tu sakit, and kena operate ke ape, mana nak cari duit? Rujuk badan kebajikan? Kalau badan kebajikan tak dapat bantu? Kita nak salah siapa? Salahkan diri sendiri please.. I tak marah orang yang tak berkemampuan tu nak beranak, tapi sorang dua tak cukup ke? Yang I tengok kat tv tu ada anak yang dilahirkan tak sempurna, and kalau anak tu anak ke-lima ke takpe la, ni tak, ANAK PERTAMA OK! Kalau dah tahu anak tu perlukan perhatian sepenuh masa why in hell do you keep reproducing  sampai 7 orang anak dengan gaji yang tak seberapa tu? Tak fikir ke anak tu manusia bukan kucing kasi makan je dah cukup…

So the moral of the story is, we no longer live in a world where being ignorant is acceptable, there are ways for you to have a family with much desirable future. FAMILY PLANNING IS IMPORTANT. So if it’s not time to have children, then wait till the situation allows. Until then, practice safe sex, trust me, condoms are way cheaper than baby diapers in the long run. Of course we are only humans we can only plan, Allah SWT menentukan..

p/s: this is for people that know they can’t afford children in the first place, not to those where suddenly their life turns their back on them (rumah terbakar ke contohnye, aset kena curi ke, dan sebagainye)..And to those yang unfortunate ditimpa kemalangan and end up jadi tak mampu nak sara keluarga, bersabarlah, Allah SWT sedang menduga kita..

 

Avatar

Blue monkey

Watched Avatar (3D) for the 3rd time today, I know, free nye Derdz neh tengok same movie more than once. Teman kawan ye. So tadi pegi la Berjaya Times Square (been ages since I last go there) at around 5pm camtu sampai la. Then ada one showtime at 5.30pm so we decided to go for that one, and guess what? Still selling fast ok! Premier was like a month ago and the movie is still selling fast. Everyone would be wishing to be James Cameron at this moment, kaya okay! So we went there dah lambat (and tak book tickets beforehand) so terpaksa lah make do with 2nd row from the front, and man, I’m having a headache at this very moment coz the screen was too close and kena dongak for 2hours and 45minutes! Anyways the funny thing was, even if it was the 3rd time the movie still managed to keep me awake the whole way haha. I bet 9o% of the moviegoers that were there have watched it more than once coz when the funny parts came nobody was laughing anymore.

On the way home, we saw the top of a building under construction, caught on fire. Not sure which building it was, but you can see the building from the highway next to the Istana Negara. Well hopefully no one got hurt. Anyways, I’m sleepy already, early morning for me tomorrow, need to send forms and documents to the Malaysian Medical Council. Till then, take care

I can’t wait for Legion to come out

 

10 Minutes

Last couple of days were hell. One of the reasons I decided to come home for good was to be close to my friends and family, and they turned to bite my ass. We don’t live in a world where it revolves around one person, never does never will but yet there are few who are oblivious to that fact. As we grow old, we are supposed to be wiser and if that is so hard, then perhaps more mature in our thoughts, and yet there are still those who never change, they may appear like an adult and talk like one but inside they are just silly little children. Thru the years I’ve learned to judge a person’s character, it’s simple really, want to know how a person is? See how he/she is behaving when they are hot and bothered (ie angry, emotionally distress etc). People can be so fake outside, they may be nice to look at physically or even be soft-spoken on daily conversations, but they can’t fake it when they are angry, the whole persona changes (with exception of a very strong-willed person, which are rare). Someone you know may be able to handle his/her emotions but sooner or later it will all explode and….in YOUR FACE! My life has been out of dramas for quite some time, and lately they started to creep on me, which I don’t like, at all. I HATE DRAMAS! That’s why I never care too much, I used to care about everyone but that has taken it’s toll on me (to the height of suicidal) and I’ve long decided to stay away from any difficult situations, however close the person or subject is to me. I may sound like a selfish person, which as a whole I am not, but this is how I cope with life, no drama no pening kepala. Tak rasa ke life tu is too short, then why waste it with nonsense emotional bullshit and instead try to make the most of it? Everyday someone dies, and soon it could be one of our family members or our closest friends. Do we want our emotional breakdown to be the last memory of us to them, if say, they leave us tomorrow?

I’ve expressed to everyone close to me what I don’t like, and it’s not a long lists of things, only one, don’t bring any dramas in my life.. I would like to enjoy life as short as it already is, and I couldn’t see why for some, having drama is their way of life. Kalau takde drama tu tak sah hidup ke. Of course lah, in life, drama will eventually caught up with us but if try hard enough, it will be insignificant. Most people have facebook, and we are linked to each other, okay in my facebook even ada my nenek saudara, cicit saudara segala la kan, and some even spat their drama there, nak tanak, orang yang involved will get to see it, it’s not that hard to find in the first place, and they will get hurt. And to what expense? friendship? family ties? Senangnye let go of those ties kan? When we are angry, like I said, we sometimes show our true colours, so kita cakap things that we will regret later, so why don’t we all just take 10 minutes to rethink the implications of our words or actions, list down the pros and cons, before main campak je kat muka orang lain.. I too am human, not perfect, so sometimes I make mistakes, intentionally or otherwise, so people might not like what I did (or did not do),  but that didn’t give me an excuse to impose on others. So families and friends, say if I no longer exist in your life tomorrow, I would really like it (up to you) that you think of nice thoughts of me, the happiness we had together okay

 

All My Life I Want To Be A Doctor

To those who are regulars with the new season of Melrose Place would be familiar with the title, and yes I have the time to watch them since I haven’t started working and yes I know once I do catching up with tv series would be very difficult to do considering I’ll most probably wouldn’t put that as a priority in life kan. Anyways I have gotten few questions from youngsters (mind you don’t call me an old man yet, I’m 25 for heaven’s sake!) who are about to voyage themselves into medical school or whatnot, so this post is dedicated to those who are considering taking a medical degree and leading a life a doctor in Malaysia or elsewhere so if you have a cousin, niece or nephew who are wondering what it’s like to take medicine as a life (I hold to this principle strongly) then refer them to this post okay

Firstly let me start with gaining entry  into med school. This part here contrary to traditional beliefs, is VERY EASY once you really have decided your career choice, trust me, there are loads, and I mean LOADS of medical schools currently in development within the country (I wouldn’t say this as a good thing tho). My SPM result was not so great (not compared to my colleagues who got straight As) and I went into local matriculation and was given the opportunity to study medicine abroad, I know I’m lucky in that sense but hey if you don’t get that kid of opportunity there are tons of other options. I must admit, I was not born to be a doctor, heck nobody in my family was one and I took this road because my parents wanted me to become a doctor and it’s not that bad really, because I never really knew what I wanted to do in life and to tell you the truth I didn’t regret going thru this road. But I can’t say the same for everyone. As for me, after going thru med school alone, if god-willing I’ll have children in the future I would stray them away from become one (unless they really want to) because life will be hard for good few years.

I remembered the first time I was in med school, I was joyful and a happy-go-lucky person, without the care in the world. So I took my time adjusting to college’s life overseas. I was the lucky few who got the opportunity to go to pre med year in college, because it helps to fit in and enjoy life at the same time. Trust me, I did’nt study at all during pre med and I aced it The only time I got full First Class Honours in every subjects, cool eh? Then pre med ends and the real challenge begins, in most med school you’ll get to do 2-3 years of theories studies, including pathology, physio and later on system-based diseases etc. This is where you learn new things, and with new things requires utmost attention, and of course I was young so that part was kind of tough, considering I often left the studying to the last minute (bad thing to do by the way), so my advise is, if you are not the study-type, just get thru the daily lectures at the end of the day and you’ll be okay. Then the fun part began, the clinical years, weee hospitals! This part right here pretty much tell you whether you are fit to be a doctor or not, because after all you are going to spend your whole life in one, agree? Well to stand out during the clinical years is not easy, first you really need to study, do some research on the internet about diseases (when I say research, not the kind you do on wikipedia, but look for pubmed, medline or other official online medical publications) and most important thing of all, see as many patients as you can! It will help with your people skills, case presentation skills (impress the tutors or consultants) and helps prepare you for the exams

Then you graduate! Weeee.. It seems like a happy ending right? After all the long years of studying, cramping you brains out for exams all coming to an end, right? Well WRONG! It’s only starting. Trust me I know a handful of my friends who graduated from med school then turn their heads into other directions, ie taking other courses unrelated to the medical profession, which to me is kind of a waste because other people who really wants to be a doctor but didn’t get the chance could have taken their place instead. Don’t be fooled by negative comments from other people even from fellow doctors but instead experience it yourself. I’m not new to this stigma of becoming a new doctor, in fact I even took the time to do some researches, interviewed fellow house officers and my conclusion is that, don’t let other people put you off the things you like to be doing but instead create your own experience. For me, I could have worked overseas, actually anywhere I want with my medical degree but I chose Malaysia, my home, you have to understand, I’ve lived almost 7 years abroad doing my medical degree and I’ve had a lot of thinking and home is where I’d rather be, hey I won’t deny, I love to bitch about things to my family and friends and I figured I can depend on them at the end of a rough day. So to those who disagree with my decision, well go fuck yourselves, I mean seriously…I have a friend (not close, thank god), who is about to get into his 5th posting as a house officer in HKL and I asked him how it’s like to become a house-officer and he said to me “don’t be stupid, stupid house officer” “ada je house officer yang stupid stupid!” “nyusahkan keje orang lain je”.. The “stupid, stupid” remark still ringing in my ears till now.. First of all you are still a  house-officer, regardless of how long you have been one, that means (please la don’t try to rebutt this) to me you are just the same as other house officers who are still learning your way so stop la this psycho babble. This kind of behaviour lah that leads to Medical Officers and Specialists who are bad-tempered and suke mouth off tak bertempat, and trust me you will see them everywhere in hospitals..

It is sad but to those newbies to the medical world, please la if you have those kind of temper, that loves to disregard other people, not necessarily patients but also to your colleagues, please look elsewhere for meaning of life, other human beings are not there to feed your ego. To those who says that you have to be mean to get the message across, think again, we don’t live in the era where canning is allowed, where presidents get away with abusing power, where half-cap is accepted fashion sense in shopping malls with covered ceilings (kan dah melalut) so where do you think you’ll fit in? Please la, don’t be 2000 and late okay, keep up! To those who says that ” ala cakap je, nanti ko tahu lah macam mane bile keje, where you have nothing to say, where you can be blacklisted for reporting, blacklisted for everythiiiiinnnnngggggg”, pleaselah, if everyone thinks like that then things will not change. If people threat to burn your house down, do you move out?  The government may not be perfect, has challenged us every year (to me bazir duit rakyat hantar all these entourages to meet students abroad) to bring back home the good that can be learned abroad and bring home and implement it(off all the bullcraps they were feeding us) and that is  what we should be intent to do.. The system may suck at this point in time but it’s not too late to bring new and improve aspects into it. Or else we will still live in caves betul tak? Buang yang buruk. I agree lah the system is there for a long time for a reason, but come on, if clearly it’s not suppose to be there then why not change it? It may sounds like a looooong shot but it’s worth it, if not for us for the future generations..

So that being said, I would encourage students to get into medicine, provided that you know it is going to be a long road for you guys, can be bumpy for some and a breeze for others but all that matter is the passion you have. If you think, medicine is not for you, be grateful because now anything you do is worth commending, not just becoming a doctor. Being a doctor is hard work, not too much that you’ll die of exhaustion but enough to make life a little bit unpleasant Becoming a doctor does not necessarily means you will have no life, in fact you can have a life, if you know how to sort your priorities. If you love money, then being a doctor is not for you, there are other money-making professions out there(and less work, trust me). If you like to help people then be a doctor Nothing beats the excitement, seeing a patient smile after a major surgery Provided the MOs or consultants doesn’t give you much hell about the post-op care la kan

Okay after babbling for this long dah lupa dah what I really want to write haha, anyway ask away if you have any questions, I’ll try my best to answer it And to fellow friends who has things to disagree, please enlighten me

 

THE DERDZ IS SICK

You heard it right, achooo! I’m currently having a bad headache, fever, runny nose (with yellow thinged mucus) and the throat started to sore.

So new entries will be postponed till the sickness is gone, so very sorry… Hopefully by this weekend elok la

Times like this la Derdz suka self-prescribe! Which is wrong but can’t help it!

Buhbye